


My Past, My Future, My Present

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Character Study, Established Relationship, Friendship, M/M, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-02
Updated: 2007-09-02
Packaged: 2019-03-02 11:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13316709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: Ducky is Jethro's past, future and present.





	My Past, My Future, My Present

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

_I don\'t love you because I need you; I need you because I love you._

There’s not much about the past, my past, which I’m proud of.

I’ve done things I regret. Things that hurt people. Things that weren’t maybe wrong, but weren’t right. Things I wish I could undo.

But there is something, someone, that makes it all worthwhile. That makes up for all the bad. For all the pain. All the hatred.

Ducky.

My Ducky.

The man I love.

The man I’ve loved since the minute I met him.

The man who’s always stood by me, no matter what.

The man who loves me.

Ducky.

My Ducky.

The man who is my past.

* * *

_I think the worst thing about life would be having to go through it without you._

At one point I didn’t think I’d have a future.

Didn’t see the point in having one.

What could it bring? Nothing but pain, misery, destruction, hatred, badness. Most of which I’d caused.

I doubt I would’ve had one had it not been for one person. 

If it hadn’t been for Ducky. 

He took the bad and made it good.

He took the hatred and replaced it with love.

He took the pain and gave me pleasure.

He took the destruction and rebuilt.

He took the misery and offered me joy.

He gave me my future.

He is my future.

* * *

_Right now, I can\'t remember yesterday, and I don\'t care about tomorrow. This moment is all that matters._

Having a past if one thing.

Having a future is another.

But without a present they are both pointless.

My present is Ducky.

He makes each day worth living.

He lets me see the world through different eyes. The eyes of someone who can, and does, care. The eyes of someone who can see the beauty, the pleasure, the joy, the love, the peace.

He makes me know that I’m loved, wanted, needed. That I’m not quite the bastard I think I am.

He makes me.

He makes me whole.

He is my present.

And he will always be so.


End file.
